Five Years in Switzerland, and I Haven't...
In the past five years, I’ve done a lot here in Switzerland. I’ve hiked more trails than I can count. I’ve watched the snowman explode during Sechseläuten, fully embraced nude sauna culture, cheered for the cows parading down the alp in their flower crowns, danced at Street Parade and Züri Fäscht (twice!), ran the Zürich half-marathon. I’ve ice-skated on a frozen Oeschinensee, gone absinthe-tasting in Motiers, risked my life sledging, stayed in many mountain huts, found the very best rösti in the country. I get my badi season pass every summer, and my langlauf pass every winter.
So yes, there have been lots of uniquely Swiss experiences throughout my time here, many of which have gotten call-outs in my yearly “Top 10 Experiences” posts. But today, I thought it would be fun to recount a few things that, even after five years, I haven’t gotten around to yet.
Five years in Switzerland, and I haven’t…
Learned German
Ha, ok. It’s more like: I haven’t learned enough German. I promise, it’s not for lack of trying. The language just hasn’t seemed to stick in the way I want it to. There are lots of reasons for this (although the more cynical might call them excuses). But the reality is that learning German in Switzerland comes with a particular set of challenges that have really muddled my learning process. But, out of all the things on this list, this is priority number one. I even have my sights set on passing the B1 exam by the end of this year (pray for me).
Floated down the Limmat
The Limmat is the beautifully clear and shocking clean river that flows directly through the heart of Zürich’s old town. Swimming in the icy cold Limmat is one of my favorite summer activities. But floating the Limmat - aka gummibootfahren, aka lazily drifting down the river on a sunny day in an inflatable rubber raft - is a verifiable Zürich rite of passage. How have I not done this yet? There have been ample opportunities, but for one reason or another, the stars just have not aligned for me. Priority number two this year.
Gone downhill skiing
Honestly, I blame Switzerland. There are too many alternative winter sports to choose from! But it is getting a bit unacceptable at this point, especially considering that I’ve been to multiple internationally famous ski resorts - Zermatt, Verbier, Davos - sans skis. And the thing is, I grew up skiing. I skied most of my childhood until I reached high school, when skiing all of a sudden became very uncool and I promptly switched to snowboarding (Note: at that time, helmets were also very uncool, and no one wore them. The early aughts were wild). Needless to say, I haven’t been on a board or skis since my early twenties, and my body just feels a bit more breakable than it did 15 years ago. But I’m starting to think the Swiss government might revoke our visas if we don’t ski at least once, so keep an eye out for Raunaq and I on the bunny slopes next winter!
Bought curtains
For the amount of windows in our apartment, the lack of curtains is striking. To be fair, I did attempt to buy curtains in our first year. But our apartment is on the older side (this is what I get for wanting an apartment with “charm”), and I couldn’t find curtain gliders that fit the ancient ceiling tracks. And so, we have been curtain-less for nearly six years. Sorry, neighbors.
Endured the infamous Swiss apartment move-out process
Speaking of apartments: The impossibly strict, intimidatingly thorough, notoriously arduous Swiss apartment handover process is legendary. Why? Because when you move out of an apartment, the entire flat needs to be left at a certain “standard of cleanliness.” But in Switzerland, this is no ordinary standard. Spackling the walls, sweeping the floors, and calling it a day? Oh, we wish.
Swiss landlords are known to inspect the inside of the toilet water tank, ensuring it has been properly descaled. They’ll don white gloves and examine each individual slate of the window blinds for a speck of dust. They’ll check if the door knobs are polished, if the oven exhaust fan filter is free of grease. Do the parquet floors sparkle? Does the chrome in the bathroom gleam like new? Every nook and cranny of the apartment is evaluated, tested, checked, recorded. This attention to detail would almost be impressive, if it wasn’t taken to the point of actual insanity. Most people we’ve talked to don’t even attempt to do the clearing themselves, and instead hire a cleaning service to do the job for $1,000 CHF. I’ve been dreading this process for years, even before we had any plans to move apartments.
Been to Geneva
Not much to say here, but - I feel like I should visit? At some point?
Hiked up Grosser Mythen for sunrise
The two Mythens, Grosser (bigger) and Kleiner (smaller), are iconic mountains of Central Switzerland, jutting straight up from the pre-Alpine landscape of lakes and pasturelands. I’ve hiked to the top of Grosser Mythen before, zig-zagging up the narrow mountainside trail before reaching the tiny hut perched right the summit. But, I’ve never been there for sunrise, and I really want to!
Summer Apero’d at La Stanza
By day, La Stanza is an elegant, Italian-style coffee bar. The type of place where you’ll stand at the long wooden counter to drink your espresso, just like in Rome. But on a warm summer Thursday evening, it completely transforms into the post-work watering hole for (what I assume to be, judging by the number of suits) the Paradeplatz banking crowd. It’s really a sight to see: the small bar completely overflows with people, who then spill out onto the sidewalk and the street. It’s loud and boisterous and crowded, the only remaining relic of the classic Italian cafe reflected in the numerous Aperol Spritzes in hand. Happy hours dominated by finance bros (sorry, there’s just no other apt phrase) aren’t really my scene, but I feel like I need to go to this once, just to experience it for myself.
Foraged for bärlauch
Bärlauch is a wild garlic that grows in the spring, and people go crazy for it. Bärlauch season is to Switzerland what pumpkin spice season is to the US. There’s bärlauch cheese, bärlauch pasta, bärlauch potato chips, bärlauch pesto, bärlauch cream. But bärlauch is indeed delicious, so I’m fully supportive of this seasonal craze. But if you really want to go the extra mile during bärlauch season, you need to do what the locals do and forage for it yourself. It grows in the forests around the base of Uetliberg, which is right in our backyard. I’ve put off doing this, mainly because bärlauch apparently looks similar to the very poisonous Lily of the Valley. I am no botanist, so until I learn to accurately identify what is delicious and what can kill me (the age-old question), I’ll likely stick to the store-bought stuff.
Gone to a Züri nightclub
Although, there is only one I really want to go to: Hive, one of the city’s most well-known electronic clubs. Honestly, I thought my best chances of finally going would be with my 20-something uni classmates during my Master program, but Covid swept in and ruined those chances. I actually haven’t been to ANY techno/electronic club since moving to Zürich, and that generally just feels like a big miss.
Attended the Montreux Jazz festival
I may not be a huge jazz fan, but I am married to one. But even an unenthusiastic jazz fan like myself can get excited about the Montreux Jazz festival. It is world-renowned, not just for its jazz, soul and blues scene, but for all things music and culture. It also takes place in one of the prettiest cities in Switzerland, on the shores of Lac Leman, in the middle of summer. This feels like a no-brainer, we gotta go.
Cracked the code to the Zürich HB underground
Upon first glance, the design of the Zürich main train station seems straightforward enough. The ground level is open and expansive, with row after row of train platforms and a smattering of kiosks, restaurants, shops and ticket counters. The track numbering system starts at 3 instead of 1, but that can be excused, because you can easily find platforms 3-18, laid out in orderly rows one right after the other. It’s only when you dare to descend underground that things start to go - excuse my pun - off the rails.
The station extends for several levels below ground, connected by a labyrinth of identical-looking passageways, tunnels, and escalators. I’m still not entirely sure how many underground levels there actually are. Oh, and remember that orderly numbering system on the ground level? It disappears down below. There are tracks 21-22, 31-34, and 41-44. Where, pray tell, are the other platforms? No one knows. There are also multiple outlets of the same shops scattered about in different areas, so that you can’t even use one as a sign post (“I’ll meet you next to the Drinks of the World.” “WHICH ONE?!”). And just to make sure you feel especially stupid when you are completely and utterly turned around - there are signs everywhere.
Once, just once, I’d like to not feel lost in this train station I’ve been in hundreds of times.
Made fondue at home
To be fair, it did take us four years to actually acquire a fondue pot of our very own. However, with raclette being my go-to melted cheese home dish of choice, the pot has been languishing away in its box in the basement. It’s due time for us to dust it off and give it a whirl.
Learn to convert my height to centimeters
Celsius, kilometers, liters, kilos - I’ve nailed nearly every conversion to the metric system, except for one: centimeters. Specifically, using centimeters to describe one’s height. If you tell me someone’s height is 175 centimeters, I literally have no idea what that means (and please don’t say 1.75 meters, that’s also not helpful). It’s just such a ludicrously small unit of measurement for something like height!
I’m not an imperial system enthusiast - in nearly every case, the metric system does make more sense - but if you need to count 175 of something to describe length, then I’m sorry, you’re doing it wrong. Can we all universally agree to use feet and inches for height measurements? Thanks!
Tobogganed down Uetliberg
When we first moved here, someone told me that in the winter, it’s possible to toboggan down Zürich’s local mountain, Uetliberg. I remember thinking that sounded so unique and cool, unlike anything I'd ever done before. Back then, I had no idea what Swiss sledding (or a Swiss winter, for that matter!) was like, but now that I do - I still think it sounds really unique and cool! Zürich doesn't get tons of snow in the winter, but there are always those magical few days where it dumps a good amount. And those are the days that everyone (kids and adults alike) grab their sleds, ride the train to the very top of the mountain, and race all the way back down. Doesn’t that sound fantastic?
Partied at Basler Fasnacht
We've been to our fair share of Swiss festivals, but there's one left on my must-see list: the Basel Carnival. While carnival celebrations are held all across Switzerland in the weeks before Easter, the Basel Fasnacht is renowned as the best of the best, for it’s three days packed with lively, vibrant festivities. I'm particularly eager to witness the Morgestraich, which starts at exactly 4:00 am on Monday morning. Apparently, every single light in the city is switched off, and the streets are illuminated only by a parade of lanterns. I’m already marking my calendar for March 10, 2025.
Eaten (or more realistically, drank) at Kronenhalle.
Kronenhalle, aka “that fancy restaurant that has Picassos,” is a Zürich institution. It’s well-known not just for its collection of original Picasso paintings, but for the Chagalls, Mirós and other famous art that is displayed on the walls. Supposedly, some of those artists came to the Kronenhalle back in the day, and used their art as payment for the meal. I don’t necessarily want to go there for dinner, but I would love to get dressed up and go to the bar for a drink.
Hiked hut-to-hut in Switzerland
I know! The shame! All of my hut experiences in Switzerland have been single overnights, not multi-day long-distance treks. Last summer, we planned to hike a few Valais stages of the epic Alpine Passes trek, but had to cancel after an unexpected snowstorm made most of the trail impassable. I’m still very jealous of Raunaq’s many treks during his 2022 summer sabbatical, and chomping at the bit to follow in his footsteps.
There is one more thing that I haven’t done in five years, but I’m afraid to say it out loud and jinx myself, because I really don’t want it to happen. Any guesses?
And as I was writing this, I realized this turned into my Swiss bucket list - because these are all things I want to experience (yes, even that move-out process). And not only that: I think I might be on track to accomplish quite a few of these this year. So, let’s do a check-in around December 2024, and see how well I fared. Sound good?
Although, I may still skip the curtains as a form of silent protest.
